How Much Wood Can A Skin Viper Chuck

Skin Viper and Meat Hang Safe Zones are what I am reduced to. Whatever the flank that even means. Just when you thought emails can’t get weirder well here is a person calling themselves Seid Hammy. That name could be a new Subway sandwich but who am I to judge? The bloke also appears to not to be of Lebanese descent. But I really don’t know and i am no genealogist nor would it matter much to a marinated piece of timber. If this seems like a Meat Hang Safe Zone to anyone, than let it be so, LOL. For a different type of character read one of my favorite knee slappers here. https://meatsheetfanzine.com/all-hallows-eve-party/

Hi John Boy, my name is Seid Hammy, but my friends call me Skin Viper or sometimes Street Viper. I’m Lebanese, 5 foot 2 inches, 82 lbs, and cut like a razor blade. I’m 26 years old and I’ve got a confession. My friends point me in your direction and say Meat Hang is a safe zone and I am welcome to make all confessions to you, so here it goes.
I have an obsession with wood, I like to eat it. No mattter to me , I don’t care if it’s hard wood, soft wood, dark wood, light wood, red wood, dry wood, wet wood, painted wood, raw wood, pest infested wood, old wood, young wood, as long as it’s wood, I love to eat it.

I once devoured an entire picket fence over a long weekend. It was scrumptious.

However my neighbor Clyde Tucket was not a happy man when he came back from his boat trip to Frampton’s Vestibule. I told him it was my bad and I promised to purchase him a new fence, but I don’t have the green yet to do so.
When I grow board, I munch on household items, furniture, broom sticks, drawers, dressers, doors, chairs and cabinets. My teeth are skinned to the bone, so I usually bleed profusely when snacking. I often use tools, saws come in handy and help get the items down to a manageable size for consumption. I enjoy saw dust sprinkled on to a stiff piece of wood, why is that so bad?
I’m not looking for help, for I enjoy the wood munching. I’m mentally stable, but my belly is full of wood chips and my poop hole hurts when I pass the timber. 
Please don’t judge me. I come to a Meat Hang Safe Zone to release my inner secrets, so I’m not tempted to stab a screwdriver into my liver. I just want to be free.

In conclusion, if you pass a construction site filled with 2X4’s and various other wood and you see delicacies… If people refer to you as a Street Viper, Skin Viper, or any other trouser snaked name.. Know that I John Meat will not pass judgement. I am like Planet Fitness of wood eating if you want me to be. Be well.