In Memoriam Kenneth Keith Kallenbach

Kenneth Keith Kallenbach. A legend gone way before his time. Kenneth Keith was part of the Wack Pack on Howard Stern show from circa 1990 until his demise. I’ll never forget that day. I turned on my Sirius satellite boom box only to see “RIP Kenneth Keith” scrolling as the topic. Shit. He was a local Philly guy. I ran into him many times randomly. Conversely I went to see his comedy rock band appropriately named The Kenneth Keith Kallenbach Band. More on that later. Here’s a link to where you can buy his music. He is on Kung Fu Records label http://kungfurecords.com/releases.php?content=Yeah%21

One afternoon I randomly met Kenneth at the defunct Tower Books for Robin Quivers “Quivers – A life ” book signing. Still have that signed copy and a Private Parts hardcover (signed by Kenneth and Crackhead Bob both R.I.P.) Eventually Ken got to know me. I interviewed him for Meat Sheet # 2. Over the years I go see his band or would run into him at Stern related events. One event being the Crazy Cabbie VS. Stuttering John fight in Atlantic City. Watch this tab for more nostalgia relating to the golden age of Howard Stern https://meatsheetfanzine.com/blog/sterniac-howard-stern-related-nostalgia/

Ken went on to pursue bit parts in all types of television and movies. The ones I remember were him talking about playing a crazed fan in Jerry Maguire. This is a baseball movie starring Tom Cruise. Some loser in production decided to cut the scene though and it never made it to the end film.

Additionally I sought out the Sex and The City episode in which Kenneth appears.

He has no speaking part but I still got a kick out of seeing him do his long haired trademark walk in which he seems to be imitating another character. Perhaps a burly armed strong man, which is funny. Kenneth had a small slender frame. Ironic indeed.

The last time I witness Kenneth on television? Stride chewing gum. He stars in several as a factory worker packing the gum.

Kenneth’s story regrettably ends when he is accused of trying to lure an underage female into his car. After the fact that he passes away in prison, said female admits that it did not happen. So basically I read or heard this and if true, the world loses one of the funnier people over false allegations. On a personal note, from my dealings with him, I just don’t see it being plausible or likely that he would have done what his accuser said. He was always focused on furthering his reach in a time when social media had not been launched or was in its very early years.

But, rather than focus on the tragedy, I’d rather celebrate this guy.

He brings me laughs to this day. One of the last times I saw him in person was the morning before the Atlantic City Cabbie vs. Stuttering John fight.

Date ? Circa 2002. I briefly hung with Kenneth, and saw or talked with nearly the whole crew and wack pack. Save for Howard and Robin. Here is a prized picture of Kenneth holding my fifth zine featuring Jim Florentine. https://meatsheetfanzine.com/product/meat-sheet-fanzine-issue-5/ Gotta love that this is shot with 35mm disposable or an old school Kodak Easy Share. Both took better pictures than my current “updated” setup. The next time would be small Philly gigs in which Kenneth is reforming a band under his name.

This story is foggy but I think Kenneth asked me at one of the South Philly gigs if I knew anyone that would be interested in backing him up. I mentioned my friends in Triple Threat. Triple Threat are an under rated hardcore band that sound like classic straight edge hardcore meets Bl’ast. The story on Ken ? The rest is hazy. Perhaps I though it was a long shot but I gave Kenneth Tim’s number not thinking he would call. If he does I thought it would be funny. Being that it was so long ago, cannot say. However there is a link from Tim’s archive here regarding this http://doublecrosswebzine.blogspot.com/2009/01/kenneth-keith-kallenbach-and-triple.html

In conclusion, Kenneth was my favorite wack packer. I never got to know him real well. He had some friends in his circle that seemed pretty cool. It was funny how he managed to write a letter to Howard Stern stating he could blow smoke out his eyes and managed to gain momentum over the years. I’ll probably cover this again with different photos and stories. He is an indelible character and am sorry he left too soon. If I had stayed in Philly and things played out differently, who knows ? I’ll leave you with my top skits or memories to the best as I can remember and link them if footage exists.

• Kenneth Keith appears on the local WOR Channel 9 Howard Stern show featuring Adam West and Gary Busey. Head Injury Club For Men. Parody of Hair Club For Men. January 1992 ! Total chaos. Low brow Snapple models and Dial A Mattress style adverts but some ridiculous funny Kallenbach moments. If you search you can find the episode in parts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOzclkmhzk8

• Howard Stern For Governor Speech. I cannot find footage or audio of this but if you heard this you probably remember Kenneth saying stuff like ” I drove all the way from Philly. I’ve been up all night. I wanted a turkey sandwich but I didn’t get one. I don’t want no violence, that’s why Howard would be a great governor. Wanna see my dildo? !?” Next thing you know Howard is saying ” OK get him outa here” Pure gold.

• Before he entertained Busey and the Stern Show above, there was another WOR appearance set in a bowling alley. Kenneth put firecrackers in his pants. In Meatsheet #2 (out of print) I asked him about that. Needless to say it ended in Howard saying “Get him outa here, get him outa here” See the pattern ? I think Howard was playing that part up. Maybe he didn’t know what Kenneth might do, but he absolutely allowed him a venue to pull some off the cuff surprise self inflicted slapstick. As a 19 year old watching this live on Saturday night in NJ it was a real comedic treat. My mom and step dad would be sitting right there and we’d be laughing ourselves silly. It was ridiculous. On top of all that , this small , live, and low budget TV show manages to beat Saturday Night Live in the NJ/ NY market. That is saying something. Although SNL in my opinion really declined already by mid 1990’s and still remains dull to this day.

• The second best and best Kenneth moments both involve Kenneth going on the Channel 9 show to attempt to blow smoke out of his eyes. The first time ever was July 1990. What a debut. He fails but it’s absolute high comedy. ” Hode on , hode on , I can do it. ” Must see TV here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWZ59PhSVDM So after this firestorm of an appearance the fans requested that he come back on. The second time was not as funny to me but it was very close. I thought he had almost vomited or did partially vomit due to trying to blow smoke out his eyes.If you have this footage of his 2nd appearance, please post it somewhere and drop me a line. His appearances after that start to get momentum. It still makes me laugh seeing them or thinking of them.

So there are five quintessential Kenneth Keith Kallenbach appearances that made me a big fan , big fan. I’ll post more about this in the future if I am afforded the time. For additional laughs search out his DVD titled Kenneth Keith Kallenbach. I got mine by emailing him and sending funds. He sent it in the mail and what a great mail day. More on that later. Also if you knew him better than I did , which was on an acquaintance level and you would like to add something I’d love it. If you read this Kenneth, thanks for the laughs, yeahhh !