Warped Want List and Making An Ash of Self
Warped Want List . Here is a bloke who reaches out to me. A plea for you , the readers to keep your oniony eyes peeled for the rarest of rare vinyl “Seven Inchers” I’ve been busy finishing up this printed zine. You may ogle it here https://meatsheetfanzine.com/printed-zine/
Dear John Meat:
My name is Peter Ash and I am an avid collector of rare punk and hardcore “seven-inchers”.
I got smacked on the tush by the allure of collecting these snotty singles in the mid-90s. Where I collected the complete discographies of legendary punk labels such as Dischord, Touch & Go, Dangerhouse, Horizon, etc etc.
As a result, all these years later, I am still collecting punk singles. But as my shelves heave with more or less every expensive punk single ever made, my interest lie in the most arcane and elusive of this very tasty and arousing genre.
Below is my want list. If any of the readers of Meat Sheet can help me track down these scarce pieces of plastique, it would be appreciated to the utmost degree!
I will pay major scharole for these saucy platters, but am open to trading in case that situation arouses the skin tissue of the many manic collectors o’ slabs who read the Meatsheet !
If I get enough of a response from this message, I will release my trade list containing some of the most barely-existing discs from punks past !
Thank You and Have a Great Sandwich Day! – Peter Ash
WANT LIST
STALIN’S ORGAN – “Sprayin’ Sauce” 45 (Farfalle Records, 1979)
Italian power-pop with much zeal! Contains a small packet of an Italian aphrodisiac called The Scungilli Stiffener.
ROUGHOUSERS – “Clean Cut Bacon Removal” (Odorific Discs, 1980)
Sleazy Iowa punk pioneers first single containing the B Side, “Mammy (Died On The Slab)”
MUSKRAT RAPE – “For Whom The Ass Toots” (Odorific Discs, 1985)
A later release on the highly mysterious Odorific label by a trio from Sapsucker, New Hampshire who managed to cram 8,549 songs onto a double-grooved flexi-disc with one of the stand-outs being the anthemic “Bone of Rebellion”.
SKIN LORD – “Who Goes Thar?” (Nutmeg Sack Records, 1989)
Connecticut thrash-core with a flare for the progressive due to the presence of the band’s keytard player, Richard Cramitin.
AGGRESSIVE CONSTABLE – “Maggy Thatcher Wears Barbed-Wire Britches” (Blimey Barftones, 1983)
The sole single by this quartet of charged political punkers from Sanford-Upon-Son in the northern south of England.
VIOLENT ARTIFACT – “Cramps at Midnight” (Much Ruffage Records, 1981)
Raging early midwest Hardcore containing actress Bonnie Bedelia on bass.
FILTHY FRED AND THE STINKERS – “Cantaloupe Love” (Partially Nude Records, 1978)
One of the most X-Rated songs in punks’ history although the B Side, “My Sloppy Sponge Bath” might be a close second.
HOMNIBUS – “Limp Tenders” (Urban Orangutan Records, 1980)
German post-punk by the band who eventually evolved into one of the biggest Industrial bands of the 80s, Teutonic Bulge.
THE LEATHER CALCULATORS – “Let’s Mate In A Public Place” (Bone Broth Productions, 1978)
Late 70s D.C. punk that is minimal and artsy. Every copy came with a swath of vocalist Roberta Spatoon’s toe hair.
COP STINK – “Foreplay In The Residence” (Mental Football Records, 1988)
The first seven-inch by this Pacific Northwest crust core unit more well known for their LP “Another Night, Another Toilet” from 1993.
TONGUE CULTURE – “Dark Meat Surprise” (Puny Attempt Records, 1977)
The very beginnings of the punk movement in Bolivia! Anyone who tells you the first Bolivian punk record was The Fred Banana Combo’s first long-playing album is a no-nothing ninny!
MORSEL ENEMY – “A Morsel Much Foul” (Evil Hole Records 1985)
Western Canada’s most horny horror-punk band!
Strangely, it is this…their 25th album that is most scarce…MUCH SCARCITY ON THIS VINYL!
Anyone who can help me score a copy so’s I can hear such tracks as “Gorey Gazongas”, “Commode Charamel” and their ten-minute opus, “Toenail Fungus and The Fall Foliage” will be rewarded either with cash or crotch!
Editor Note : To clarify I replied to Peter asking if he had imagery to help the readers identify this scarce black grooved discs on his want list. Here is what I got, also the two images you see in this post.
John-
Although it took a lot of finagaling and groveling and showing of my public region.. I managed to secure hi-quality computer scannnings for the covers of some of the items on my wantlist. These digital images come courtesy of one of the most renowned punk record collectors, Maury Spamberger.
Maury is a fella who is not known for either his social skills or hygiene so it goes without saying I went through hell and backwash to acquire the dot matrix photography you are now viewing on the screen of your home computing device.
Please attach these photos to my want list when and if you generously post it upon your web page. I might be able to procure a few more visual components to the list but Spamberger was sadly taken ill soon after my visit with a horrible case of droopy foot. Let’s all pray to sweet baby hay Zeus (aka HOMBRE #1) for his speedy recovery to this aliment that claims so many feetsus year after year.
Yours in revolutionary revelry- Peter Ash