Stool Vinegar & Sinister Alp Balboa the Jail Bird Santa
Wisconsin scenester Stool Vinegar sent an email from the dairy land. No clue what hoss is talking about but it does remind me of a certain person in real life. They will remain anonymous and any resemblance is purely co ink a dental. I’ve gotten some real head scratchers like this one below and older ones like this. https://meatsheetfanzine.com/a-lucrative-proposal/
Hi Johnathan, my name is Stool Vinegar. First, I was in a band called Battle of the Knights and Daze back in the 90’s.
Metallic hardcore out of Wisconsin. We have a demo out and a 7″ on Old Genoveve Records out of Switzerland.
Did a couple of comps, Arch Animals and Crooked Flame. Ran the circuit for a solid five years. Playing with bands like The Albinos, Color Me Tempted, Tippy Toe on the Callicious of the French, Mock Organism, Orange Christ, Sinbad, Waffle Sharps Through the Light of My Neighbors, In the Eyes of Yellow Feathers, Lion Farts and of course. .. At That Sight in Which We Discover a New Sense of Life and Truth. All excellent bands, some mathematically challenged, some diving into ideas of sensualism. Some exploring the depths of man’s plight, but all rock hard.
Regardless, as a unit, we discover that over time, we are being ripped off and bootlegged by sinister forces within the scene. A guy named Alp Balboa was setting up merch tables at every gig, but his merch was made up of bootlegs of all the local ragers gear. Shirts, hoodies, tank tops, booty shorts, demos, burned cds. You name it and Alp was booting it and selling it as if he was a distro.
Consequently we often confronted Alp and ask where he had gotten all these various pieces of our merch and demos. He would always tell us that he bought it off our friend Huvo. The thing is we have no friend Huvo. If Alp wasn’t so menacing looking, we’d probably have pushed harder, but he was a real scary looking guy. No kidding, Alp is 6 foot 8″, hulking, covered in tattoos head to toe.
He owns one particular tattoo that arches over his top lip and under his bottom lip. It says ANTI SKIN FLUTE ZONE. Never understood that one, but it is written in a creepy Old English lettering and had flames coming off of it.
The muzzles this man had were pure insanity, he walks and often jogs to gigs. He carries all the merch he sells in a giant burlap sack.
He was like a jail bird Santa.
Eventually Battle of the Knights and Daze called it quits because we couldn’t sell a lick of merch and promoters stopped asking us to play gigs because Alp would always show up and scare all the gig-goers away.
Just this past year, in the midst of a pandemic, our bassist and I started a new band called Full Throttle Dark Moon Tuesday.
We’re hoping to start gigging when this pandemic breaks, but in the meantime, we’re going to be locked up in our houses, writing and recording the most intense, anal shattering music you ever laid your fancy toes on.
I’m curious if you would be kind enough to review our demo when it is complete? I know quite a few of us here in Wisconsin are die hard Meat Sheeters and we hang on every word that you write. A positive review would clearly give us hard-ons. Thanks you for your gracious time. Yours, Stool Vinegar
I don’t review metal as of late. I’m not opposed to reviewing metal, I just avoid it like jail bird Santa bootleggers. However, for a former member of Mock Organism and Orange Christ, I may make an exception. Also if you are in a metal project, this blog may not be the best choice as I have had overexposure to it and it has not been favorable. I still dig some of it though.